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Tuesday, 7 June 2016


People fly past, screaming. The huge rollercoaster looms over me. Whoa that looks cool. I line up for the massive roller coaster. The line was long. I was prepared. 

I get closer to the roller coaster, it gets bigger and bigger. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea I think, as people zoom past screaming. 
I slowly stumble over to the carriages. My mum tells me that the front was the scariest so I sat in roughly the middle.

I wonder how the seat belts work. I try pulling the black straps over my shoulder. They smoothly slide down but it doesn't stop me feeling unsafe.
I hear a hissing sound - the roller coaster is off. It slides smoothly around the corner on a 40%  angle; well that wasn't too bad. The roller coaster soon comes to the chain. The chain slowly gets into action as it heaves the mighty load. Suddenly I realise what's coming next - the loop.

I see the loop coming. The roller coaster flies toward the loop. I quickly close my eyes. After a series of spins and turns the roller coaster skids to a halt. I slowly crawl off, my head spinning. My mum runs up to me “Was it fun”?
“Yes, let's do it again!”

While doing my writing I was learning how to make a good hook. I learnt that there are lots of different types of hook eg.
 Use a question  
Use descriptive words 
Start halfway through with action
I think that I went well because I have a good hook that will convince people to keep on reading. I also built tension well.
Next time I will describe more.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Elliot, this really captured your experience at Rainbow's End well. I like how it reminds me of your treidation as we got to the front of the line...I would've liked to know more about how you felt about the flying round bits though. Excellent work.